A Vampire Christmas

On December 25^th, from 7:00 to 9:00 PM, we will be having a Vampire Christmas at AWT.  Many of you don’t believe that there is a connection between Christmas and vampires.  What if I were to tell you that Santa Claus is a vampire?  Think about it, he has been around for hundreds of years and is basically immortal.

Have you ever notice that he only travels the world at night, one night a year to be precise, and he is always home before dawn?  It is well known that vampires can only enter homes that they have been invited into.  Have you noticed all the letters that Santa gets from children around the world?  He visits those homes and only those homes.  No letter inviting Santa to come, along with a list of gifts, no visit from Santa.

At our show, Christmas Night, We will celebrate a Dark Christmas together.  Remember that “dark” does not mean “evil.”  We even have Santa’s coffin, and you may say hello to him while he rests after his extensive journey the night before.  So come on by for a Gothic Christmas at a Woman’s Touch on Christmas Night.

A Visit from Vampire Santa (from 2013)

(With apologies to Clement Clark Moore)

T’was the night before Christmas, when all cross the sim

Not an avatar was stirring, not even a prim;

The missiles were armed with the greatest of care,

In hopes that Vampire Santa soon would be there;

The mortals were nestled all snug in their beds,

While nightmares of Santa danced in their heads;

And Des with her mallet, and me with my stake,

Begun our long winter vigil and must stay awake,

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow

Gave the luster of mid-day to Park Place below,

When what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a miniature sleigh, and eight undead reindeer,

With a little old driver, so preternatural and quick,

I knew in a moment it must be Vamp Nick.

More rapid than hellhounds his coursers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

“Now, Tepis! Now, Soulbane! Now, Dracul and Chillstone!

On, Demon! On, Reaper! On, Charon and Deathmoan!

To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!

Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!”

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky;

So up to the house-top the hell beasts they flew,

With the sleigh full of death, and Vamp Kringle too.

And then, with a thundering, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each cloven hoof.

As I drew in my head and was turning around,

Down the chimney, Vamp Santa came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,

And his clothes were all tarnished with grave dirt and soot;

With an unnatural pallor and death searing eyes,

He looked like the Reaper in a jolly disguise.

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And the smoke encircled his head like a mist on the heath;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

And drained all his victims; then turned with a jerk,

And taking his hand and thumbing his nose,

And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a yell,

And away they all flew like bats outta Hell,

Away I ran quickly, down the stairs in a flash,

Stumbled out the door into the yard with a crash.

To the missile launcher I headed without missing a beat,

Armed them; took aim at the sleigh in retreat.

Away they all flew to their target with speed,

Streaking the sky like a flaming winged steed.

It lit the night sky as the sleigh burst into flame,

And crashed onto the club from whence the smoke came.

Never again shall he slander my name,

And say I’ve been naughty and assign me false blame

I sat and watched as the flames burned out beyond sight;

Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night.